By Stephen Cook
Student and veteran, Laci Adams, served in the United Sates Army from 2005-07. Adams was deployed to Iraq and brought a lifetime of lessons back with her.
Upon graduating from Shawnee Mission East high school in 2003, Adams, started taking classes at the college. At the time she was living by herself and working three jobs. It was her mother who prompted her to join the military, with the reminder that it would give her money for school when she got back.
“I wasn’t doing anything with my life,” Adams said. “My mom was like, ‘You have way more potential than what you’re using so how about you go into the military, go in the army?’”
Adams then contacted a recruiter and later chose her job as a fueler in August 2005. One of the main reasons she picked that job was because there was a 20,000 dollar bonus; she was also able to select her duty station from around the world.
Adams then went on to complete nine weeks of basic training at Fort Jackson in South Carolina.
“It was so much fun and when my mom came to my graduation, she said it was the happiest I had ever looked in a very long time,” she said.
From there she went to Fort Lee in Virginia for advanced individual training (AIT) in November of 2005.
“It wasn’t like basic training,” Adams said. “We had our own rooms with our own bathroom – yes, privacy – we were able to use cell phones we were able to use computers, those portable DVD players were a hot commodity. It was like my college experience that I never had.”
In February, prior to graduating from AIT, Adams got her first duty station orders and found out that she would be going to Germany.
While there, she met and quickly became engaged to her would-be husband. Jason and Laci were married in Germany on July 29, 2006. A month later she was deployed, spending six weeks in Kuwait before arriving at Camp Liberty in Baghdad, Iraq in October of 2006. The base was near Saddam’s palace and Adams was deployed when he was executed.
As a woman, there were specific things that she had to adhere to in Iraq.
“There were certain things that me being a woman I was not allowed to do; I was not allowed to show my hair,” Adams said. “It was disrespectful for me to show the bottoms of my feet; to touch any Muslim man, [but] I was allowed to search Muslim women.”
While serving in Baghdad, Adams faced real danger.
“We had grenades thrown at us; of course we had one time we were delivering fuel to one of the JSS operations we were ambushed and started taking direct fire,” Adams said. “I saw people get shot around me, I saw a vehicle blow up and just like the screams of those guys in there were just, it was unbearable because there’s nothing you could do – nothing you could do. But, of course, you’re taught to not talk about it.”
At first, she didn’t really have an idea of what it would be like in Iraq.
“They can only train you so much as to what to expect while you are over there,” Adams said. “I was kind of naïve in a way thinking that females really don’t really go outside the wire.”
From January to about mid-March, Adams said she did about 100 to 150 missions, each varying anywhere from several hours to several days.
“We lived off of Otis Spunkmeyer muffins and energy drinks and cigarettes and our iPods,” she said.
Up until that time, Christmas day had been their only full day off. Adams also had minimal downtime between missions, usually only a few hours to relax. Eventually, soldiers were then given one full day each month where they were completely off.
“We were exhausted to the point where it was starting to become dangerous,” Adams said. “I guess this was kind of like the start of the depression mode.”
Her communication with loved ones started to diminish.
“I remember my mom sending me emails: ‘Laci, I don’t care what you email me back, just say “hi” let me know you’re ok,’” Adams said. “You get to that point of, you don’t want to worry your family of what’s really going on – what are you supposed to say?”
Adams was already struggling with anxiety, and that was exacerbated when she learned that her unit was soon going to go to “The Triangle”, which was one of the most dangerous, deadliest places to go.
In May of 2007, Adams came back home after becoming injured by overdosing on medication. She was diagnosed as having PTSD, anxiety and panic attacks, which is also why she did not return to service. At first, she didn’t see a therapist because she figured she could handle it on her own.
She continues to be “hyper alert” while driving, for example.
“I’m kind of paranoid,” Adams said. “I have to stay vigilant of who’s around me, where my exits are at all times. I was in a severe depressive state; I wouldn’t even sleep in my own bed, I had to sleep on the couch downstairs in the living room because that’s where all the entrances and exits were.”
After leaving medical chapter, she started working various jobs and soon returned to school.
After her time abroad, Adams came back to the college. She experienced some academic challenges, so she spent some time away from class, also having her children during that time. Adams returned again in the fall of 2012 to work towards her associate’s degree. She hopes to move to a school where she can pursue studies in meteorology, specializing in severe weather.
“I was nervous because I was like this is it – you need to do it. If your dream is to become a meteorologist and you’re letting [anxiety] take over you and your kids,” Adams said, “I still had to learn that whole balancing thing but the most important lesson that I had to learn was that it was ok to ask for help.”
Adams said she now sleeps better at night and is no longer on her medications.
“Over that course of a year I was just like, ‘What happened to you Laci?’,” she said. “You used to be outgoing, look at the positive of everything and you lost yourself, you need to get that self back and I did.”
Her time serving did also affected her positively.
“It’s made me more aware and kind of more empathetic to other people’s situations,” Adams said. “I definitely have a stronger voice than I used to.”
Adam’s advice is to just talk and do one thing at a time.
“Don’t let it build up to where it spirals very quickly out of control because that’s kind of like what I went through,” she said.
Her most important lesson is realizing the value of life.
“I guess the most valuable thing that I have learned would be not to take anyone or anything – such as your life or the people in your life or the things in your life – for granted and to really enjoy being a human being and being your own person and having a voice and opinion and to not be afraid to be judged,” Adams said.
Contact Stephen Cook, editor-in-chief, at scook35@jccc.edu.