Most of the drafts are really shaping up, but all will need clarification and refinement to be “A” papers. I scratched most of everybody’s introductions – so don’t take it personal. What’s relevant to me is the student’s assessment of the language of the magazine article they chose. With few, if any, exceptions my advice has been to more closely establish the link between the papers and the articles they should be examining.
I’ve seen few good thesis statements yet. Some can be infered from the overall text – but that’s more work for me and less educational for students so all theses should appear in the first sentence. They should be statements not questions – at least in my class. Often the answer to the question students identify as a thesis statement is the thesis. Make sure the thesis statement is clear and specific. It should be able to stand alone and make sense. If you read it, and only it, you know the point of the essay. If you have to use a pronoun make sure the antecedent is clear.
Make sure the relationship of all paragraphs to the thesis is clear. The history or general utility of metaphors isn’t necessary. If something isn’t necessary or relevant to your thesis – omit it.
The thesis statement should mention the article and the theme (or the effect of the figurative language). For example,
In “Giget goes to Spanish Harlem” George Carlin pokes fun at the racist roots of many common idioms.
- We need to photo-copy the source articles and attach them to the next draft, and use passages – with quotes and page #’s
- We need to attach the bibliography info (ie works consulted page)
- I want to see a new draft with these items briefly in class on Tuesday, 11-10-9 (30 points)
At times this week I’ve been cranky. Various reasons. Don’t read too much into my tone in my comments – I want to be honest and direct. Sometimes it could come across blunt or tactless. Hope not.
Your ideas have generally been good, and wonder about the correlation of those who missed early conferences and article choice/deadlines with the papers that looked like first drafts.
