Better Listening Skills Could Mean More Promotions — Here’s How – Lisa Quast

I recently had the opportunity to compare the difference in listening skills between my 7-year-old niece and a grown adult (my sister). My niece won.

My niece told me exactly what I had said in a previous conversation, while my sister could barely remember the topic we discussed. That’s when my niece reminded us of a very important lesson.

With a very serious look on her face she informed us: “My teacher told us that listening is the most important skill we need to succeed in life. She also said it’s a way to show respect to the person talking.”

Then she put her hands on her hips and looked at my sister. “How come you weren’t paying attention to what Auntie Lisa was saying, Mommy?”

As I stood there doubled over laughing while my sister rolled her eyes at me, it made me think about how often adults fail to listen to others – at home and especially at work.

For example, have you ever been sitting in a meeting only to realize your boss just asked you a question and everyone is staring, waiting for your answer, and – oops – you weren’t paying attention?

Ever looked down at your watch or glanced at a clock while listening to a slow talker? Daydreamed of other things while sitting in the audience at the all-company meeting?

If that’s happened to you, you’re not alone. Studies show that adults tend to listen at only 25 percent efficiency, and “most adult listeners are preoccupied, distracted and forgetful nearly 75 percent of the time.”

Unfortunately, poor listening skills can mean missing out on a lot of good information, which can negatively affect relationships or even hinder chances of obtaining promotions at work – especially when not paying attention to what the boss is saying!

When good listening skills are practiced, the results can be amazing. In fact, listening/communication skills are the most frequently cited critical employment skill in research studies.

The difficulty is that listening must be practiced, which can be energy-consuming. Some of the most exhaustive business meetings are when I’m actively listening and taking handwritten notes.

In this era of technology hyper-connectivity, going back to the basics by practicing good listening skills is something that can actually help you stand out from your peers. To improve your listening skills, try these tips:

Give your full attention. This means not interrupting the speaker and not allowing yourself to be distracted by other activities, such as sneaking a look at your watch or smart phone.

Provide non-verbal feedback. Being engaged with a speaker or with a group during a meeting is easier when you provide non-verbal feedback. In agreement with the discussion? Nod your head up and down. Not sure about something just said? Tilt your head to the side and furrow your eyebrows. Being physically involved in the conversation will help you improve your listening skills.

Listen to understand, not to reply. Stop thinking about how you’ll reply to the person talking. Instead, focus on the content of what they’re saying.

Ask clarifying questions. Ask questions about what you’re hearing to make sure you understand (and so the speaker will know that you’re listening).

With so many benefits to good listening, isn’t it about time to work on improving your skills? Maybe we can all gain back the skills we had as 7-year-olds.

Reprinted from Forbes – http://www.forbes.com – 9.19.16