Reach through walls
Mira, I want to show you something.
Let me tell you why you wear that sheathing.
Why you’re so hard to reach.
Why you weigh so much,
And it feels so hard to leave.
I know that you hear me speak,
I know that you feel me breathe.
I know that same feeling,
That one, where you feel unseen.
Sometimes I want to run,
But my feet feel like concrete.
Sometimes my mind feels so weak
And weeks go by
Before I find a new routine.
I remember being thirteen
Thinking I was unclean.
Like no matter how much
I scrubbed my skin,
The stain of generational pain,
Generations longing
For anything but the same,
Just wouldn’t leave my brain.
Old fate on repeat,
Like passing trains.
Stuck in a loop
A circle of blame.P
I hope I’m healing.
I tell my myself,
As the tears form
And begin to rain.
I hope these sacrifices are worth the gain.
I reach out to the ancestors
To voice my shame
Knowing they may be able to help,
But they’re too far away.
So, I turn to the images
That flow through my veins.
The ones that may help me explain
Why this shadow,
This reflection
is one and the same.
Mira, open your eyes,
I hear you say.
I believe you can move through walls
Try to break the chain.
— Andrew Mcilvaine