Photo by Kate Jacobsen
By Valerie Velikaya
Approximately one person takes his or her own life every 40 seconds as a result of depression. These acts subsequently lead to over 800,000 self-inflicted deaths. Suicide is responsible for twice the amount of deaths caused by HIV/ AIDS, and many of those who have or will attempt to commit suicide had never sought professional guidance.
One student, who wishes to remain anonymous, encountered depression while she was a third grader.
“I didn’t know what this was, but I was kind of immune to it,” she said. “I didn’t want to go to school because I had this really, really weird teacher … he didn’t make me feel comfortable. That’s why I would try to skip school as much as possible, and I think that’s why I always hated school. I believe, as a kid, you get traumatized very easily – like whatever you see and do it sticks with you.”
This teacher also showed up at her doorstep one night, and despite her parents believing he was a relatively good guy, she knew he was anything but.
Since then, she had been plagued with thoughts of suicide, purposely getting into a car accident and at one point trying to choke herself until she passed out. For a brief period in her life, she was addicted to opiates. She’s quit since, but that won’t hinder frequent thoughts of suicide.
The last time she considered ending her life was a month ago.
“You’re having a good day then all of a sudden, you don’t know what pisses you off. You don’t know what made you mad,” she said. “Sometimes I feel like when I wake up, I look outside the window and I’m chasing for it. I want something to happen. I want that feeling.”
Neither family nor friends are aware of the extent of her depression.
“If you ask any of my friends, I don’t think they would know. I mean, they wouldn’t see how depressed I am. That’s fine. That’s what I want because I don’t want to be treated special or a certain way.”
Depression doesn’t go away naturally. In fact, without proper treatment, depression is a persistent disease that only gets worse overtime.
Dr. Jeremy Burd, psychiatrist at St. Luke’s Health System, said, “the best approach is to talk to a professional about what they’re going through. It could be a primary doctor or a therapist. Reach out to someone outside of the family.” Otherwise, the condition can easily worsen and consequent in suicidal actions
Jean Davis, former member of Active Minds, has experienced suicidal thoughts for as long as she could remember. At one point, she even contemplated on putting her children up for adoption. “For six years of my life, I struggled with raising three children, maintaining a GPA and graduating from KU. I’ve spent sixty thousand dollars in months to change briefs [at a nursing home] …. and fling pizzas or flip burgers and that’s what I do. That’s depressing,” she said.
Davis wishes she could provide more for her children; be able to afford other necessities and include them in costly extracurricular activities. Davis has full-custody of her children. Their father doesn’t pay for child support. Despite her hardships, she said it’s all about perseverance.
“It’s got to get better.”
Just continue living from day to day and be someone else’s hero, said Davis.
If you or anyone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or depression, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or call the counseling center at 913-469-3809.
Contact Valerie Velikaya, managing editor, at vvelikay@jccc.edu