Letter to the editor
Call to procreate outdated anti-gay marriage justification
Hey, Editor. I’m writing in response to Jack Van Kirk’s letter to the editor regarding his anti-gay marriage stance as a result of his being Catholic.
Real quick: Hey, Jack. Know your audience. Have you met the guy you addressed your letter to, by chance?
Jack’s letter says, in a nutshell, that he doesn’t hate gay people, but that homosexuality is immoral because marriage is a promise to make babies, men’s bodies don’t fit biologically, and homosexual acts are bad for the body.
Whole lotta BS, if you ask me.
Jack’s referring to a set of rules created when tribes were fighting against tribes. They needed the ladies to make babies who would grow to defend the tribe. Same reason Onan got offed when he spilled his seed on the ground (Genesis 38:9). Hope you don’t pull out, Jack. That’d make you just as “bad” as a gay man.
So, while we’re sort of talking about biology, here’s a little lesson. There’s this thing that cells do as a result of contact inhibition–they divide and grow until they fill a space, and then they stop. They do that because once a cell population reaches a certain density, the amount of nutrition available to each cell limits continued growth.
When cells don’t stop dividing, that’s called cancer.
We are the cancer of the earth. We’re too stupid to stop growing. The world’s population has grown from about three billion in 1960 to about seven billion right now, according to World Bank data. As of 2010, there are roughly 925 million technically malnourished people in the world, according to the Food and Agriculture Organization.
So yeah, perfect idea, guy, let’s make sure a promise to continue producing more humans than our planet can sustain is built into the marriage contract. Brilliant.
Listen here. Fact is, there are so so so many currently legal things that grossed Bible writers out. Tattoos (Leviticus 19:28). Divorce (Mark 10:9). Shellfish (Leviticus 11:10). Sackless men (Deuteronomy 23:1). Should we make any of those things illegal? If we did and made them retroactive, the majority of our country’s population would be in jail via divorce alone.
Those things are not illegal because it’s none of your damn business anyway. Don’t want to get divorced? Don’t. (Probably just don’t get married in the first place). Needles freak you out? Cool, you’re not required to get a tattoo. Hate lobster? Don’t eat it! Likewise, if you don’t want to interact with another man’s genitals, by God, you don’t have to. That doesn’t mean that no one else can.
You don’t have to think it’s great. You don’t have to do it yourself. You don’t even have to be ok with it. You do have to stop being such an asshole about other people making decisions that not only don’t concern you, but also don’t affect you in any way at all.
All of my love,