Looking back better to look forward by Ano Chikunya
COVID-19 could not have come at a more inopportune time. I remember discussing COVID vividly before spring break, thinking to myself that the virus could not possibly be as bad as everyone was saying it was. My friends and I made jokes about having to come to class when the ground was layered in snow and ice, and how there was no possible way class was going to be canceled for a “flu.” I was misguided in my thinking that COVID would have little to no impact on my life. I brushed off comments about wearing masks and shook my head mockingly at the frenzied and frantic purchasing of toilet paper. It wasn’t soon after that everything changed.
The first few emails and texts from JCCC stating school would be canceled were met by relief on my part. Although I hadn’t believed it would actually happen, I was ready to start summer break early. I had plans to go to Cape Cod, visit family, and potentially go to a concert. I was sure the people in charge would take care of the pesky virus soon enough. I’d just begun working from home and I told myself online classes were a godsend. I wouldn’t have to make the 30 minute drive to school every morning. I could just commute 8 minutes to work and come back home. I told myself I was reducing carbon emissions and saving the planet by staying inside. I was having a blast zooming and turning in assignments remotely. Until the mask mandate was introduced to my area, and my county, Wyandotte, was redlined as a hotspot for COVID. I began to feel a bit anxious when I went out and noticed every store with mask requirements and people standing far from each other. It was then that I purchased my first mask. A plain black mask I would wear so much over the next year that it would begin to tear and fray.
Soon after buying the mask, I lost my job. It was sudden and unexpected. I’d worked as a daycare preschool teacher for nearly a year, and I loved my work. It broke my heart when the private center I worked for began sending kids home indefinitely. They “couldn’t risk an outbreak with so many kids.” I didn’t have work to look forward to anymore. I had school, and endless zooms, and staying home. I figured my family only lived an hour or so away, I could visit them instead of working all the time. I figured more family time was a good thing, I spent too much time alone anyway. On my third trip to visit my family, I got pulled over and asked if I was an essential worker on my way to work. After replying honestly, I was lectured about staying home by an officer.
I was beginning to realize that the world wasn’t going to be the same for a very long time. I was experiencing a lot of emotions that I didn’t know how to process. I was feeling very isolated and alone. Zoom discussions weren’t the same as in person ones. Seeing my friends over facetime just didn’t appeal to me as much as going out and grabbing lunch or going shopping. All sorts of things I enjoyed had to be modified and neglected. It seemed very surface level at first. But hearing, seeing, and experiencing the repercussions of COVID-19 as the death toll continued to increase was scary. I mean apocalyptic scary. I could handle staying home for a while, but not seeing or speaking to anyone, and watching people protesting masks while hospital rooms filled to maximum capacity was horrifying. Black Lives Matter protests, increased racial violence, the president getting sick, the election, it seemed as though the world had turned on its head. My religious African grandmother kept telling me that all of this meant Jesus was coming back. On top of all this, It seemed as though COVID was on a rampage, taking everything from everyone. All of this was enough to distract me from courses and things that were important to me, like working with the Honors Program as an Honors ambassador. Slowly I began to retreat within myself, doing less and less to feel more alive.
COVID put my job security at risk, my socialization at risk, my education at risk, and lastly, my family. My mother and sisters got sick, then my father was diagnosed with COVID-19. It wasn’t long after that I woke up a few weeks into my fathers recovery with a cough, and sore muscles.
COVID-19 took something from each of us. I feel as though it’s important to remember that almost none of us in the 21st century have ever experienced something as drastic as COVID-19. It’s safe to say that the virus virtually left no corner of the Earth untouched by its effects. Whether it was a planned vacation, a job, education, or a family member or friend, COVID wrought havoc to each of our lives. It is important to understand that the repercussions of COVID-19 spread farther than physical. It affected us all mentally as well. Feelings of isolation, depression, anxiety, and the like are all emotions you may have cycled through when coping with COVID-19.
The Honors Program created this padlet as a platform for students and faculty of JCCC to share in the grieving of losses big and small eventually so as to increase wellness and empathy. Please contribute a photo inspired by event, experience, or related topic and briefly summarize your 2020-2021 COVID related story.
